I woke up this morning filled with anxiety. I am so worried about the next few months and what exactly is going to happen.
1. I have applied for my PhD. So I either get accepted or not. I’ve already been preliminarily approved for funding via loans (so that is good).
1a. If I get accepted, then all is well, and the anxiety will be over. Other than writing 70 billion words over the next 3 years.
1b. If I don’t……then what. I obviously have 3 options.
2a. Stay here in Glasgow and find a job (hopefully). I can stay 2 years on my student visa if I find employment, which may not be easy. It would also give me a chance to apply to other schools if I decided to go that route.
2b. Apply into a teach in the UK/Scotland program (not sure if I would be eligible, since I already have a teaching licence and experience- I need to go to career services and find out).
2c. Go back to the US. If this is the only option, I have no idea what I am going to do. I don’t even know if I will have enough money for a plane ticket home, never mind finding a place to live, a job, etc. This is my biggest fear b/c if I go back to the US, well…… I don’t even know if I can find employment nor will I be eligible for any unemployment, etc as far as I know. Which means I would probably have less than $100 and that certainly won’t last very long.
Granted I should have thought about this a year ago, but I would be in the same position if I still wasn’t working or employed full time (last year I was substitute teaching due to the lack of jobs). I am sure I could get my p/t job back, but that would mean living in or as close to Boston as possible so I could work the p/t job and that is just 3 hours on a Saturday.
I know worrying doesn’t help, but these are the realities I am facing. I just really hope this all works out.