I’ve been quiet here for the past few days. I really haven’t had much to say, because I haven’t really done anything. A lack of funds will do that. I also haven’t been feeling well either. I think I am just tired from writing and the stress of it all, I guess.
Today was a better day and I found out I had to submit to plain paper copies of my dissertation as well as the fancy printed and bound copy (why do they never tell you these things?) so I did that and got my print and bound copy sorted as well. It won’t be in on time but the 2 other copies were in early and that was fine. (I was already granted an extension if I needed it, but was actually done early. -Who am I?)
Now I just need to find the motivation to work on me, and move on with my life and start working out again and eating better (well once we get money. I forsee pasta in my future for all 3 meals for the next week). I am just having a hard time doing it. It isn’t like I have time constraints. I have NOTHING to do for the next month and 12 days. I need to get back out there and get motivated, I just can’t seem to do it. It’s sad. I know it is. I just need to find a way to do it. I know I am not the only one out there struggling to find motivation- it’s been on plenty of blogs I read. But of course no one else has the luxury of having fuck all to do for the next 42 days. I should be able to find and make and want to do it, but for some reason….. I have no idea why it is so hard. Maybe it is because just walking is so damned painful-I mean really I should not feel like my legs have been kicked and punched after a short walk. My feet shouldn’t hurt so much that I need to soak them in hot water. I shouldn’t be waking up and struggling to walk to the kitchen b/c it hurts. And you would think that this would make me want to, desire to, run to walk and walk and then run and do lots of things to make it better, but I can only feel the pain and the fear that it will never get better. That I will never lose weight or succeed or anything.
I hope tomorrow is a better day for walking and for this mental barrier I have.
My goal for August is to walk at least 3 miles every day, which shouldn’t be a problem for someone who has done several 5k’s, a 10K, and walked 20 miles in the walk for hunger.
How do you overcome challenges, mental or physical when it comes to working out? Have you ever experienced pain just from short walks, or from doing just nothing at all?