I wasn’t going to post about this here. But then I am lying about my life and my journey if I don’t tell the whole thing. So please, do not judge. I’ve had enough of that already.
It’s been 2 weeks since I’ve had any money. It’s hard. And you would think that a hardship/crisis loan would come through quick. No. It took 2 weeks to get the check, and NOW I find that it will take until at least Thursday to clear. What is this, 1856? In the US if I deposited a check before 1pm I could have access to it that day. Why so hard banks? It isn’t like it was a personal check, it was from the University! And I need this money.
When you have no money, you go without your daily coffee or little things that you do and whatever, and it sucks, but you get through it. But after 2 weeks you start to run out of food. You start to run out of basic necessities like dish detergent and toilet paper and flour. You use all your loose change just to buy sugar (so baking could be done, but then we realised we were just about out of flour too.)
Eating healthfully takes a seat on the backburner. You may be able to eat healthy on a budget, but on NO budget, well you eat what you have in your pantry and try to make do. I can’t remember the last time I ate a fresh fruit or vegetable. I honestly do not want to see pasta in any form again for about 2 weeks. But I have no choice, it’s pasta or it’s nothing. And pasta > nothing every time.
I’ve never had it this bad before. Even when I had no money, I still was able to scrape enough money for my daily coffee (I’d make it at home now, but no milk/cream….. so and I think black coffee is nauseating.) I always managed to scrape by mostly because I had help. And well, that person isn’t around to give me a hand any more, and it is times like these I miss her more than ever. Even if she couldn’t give me money, she’d bring me extra pasta and tuna from home, just so I’d have something. I think this loss is even bigger than not having food.
It’s hard from earning your way, and working as hard as you can for the money (albeit not so much substitute teaching) to go across the world and live on student loans which aren’t that much to begin with. And it’s based on the exchange rate, and well the US to UK ratio kinda sucks right now. So who knows how
little much I will be getting come September.
On an unrelated note I did see the doctor today and she does not think it is sciatica. She thinks I may have a pinched nerve in the back of my pelvic floor in the joint area there based on the location of the pain. So since they don’t send you for tests first here, I have to go to physio first and see if a referral will be given to ortho. I just want to be able to walk down the street to get a coffee (when I have money) and have it not be filled with pain and agony. This month was supposed to be about me and exercise and walking. Not quite how I planned it.