Bottom of the ninth

When I woke up this morning and got the latest update about my student loans, I was at the bottom of the ninth with one batter out and a runner at third with a tie score.

I called up the website and went through all the steps, but I just knew I was going to strike out.  Now there are 2 outs.

Then I got an email and a phone call and it looked like I might be able to hit a single and drive that batter home.  It was 3-2.  And I struck out.  Game over.

The hopes I had of staying here in Glasgow are gone now and I’m faced with decisions I don’t want to make and emails I’m afraid to receive.  I need to decide what I am going to do.  I have the emergency fund money- well the bank still has it….. and that would get me back to the US. But…..that leaves a lot of unsettled things here that that money would take care of, but then I can’t get back to the states.   There is also someone else I have to take into consideration re: rent and etc and that would need to be dealt with too.

I can’t stay here and work- well I can until November/Decemberish, but the distinct lack of jobs here that I am qualified for would make that a challenge, especially if I am trying to support myself to live and save money for a flight.

So right now- I have no idea what I am going to do.  My mind is going a million miles an hour and I feel so let down.


The game wasn’t supposed to end this way.


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