I don’t even know

I don’t even know what I am doing anymore.  I’m an emotional wreck, and I can hardly think straight.

In 2 weeks I will be home, and the thought just depresses me.  This was not supposed to happen.

I have no idea what I am going to do- there don’t seem to be many jobs out there that I am qualified for, never mind the fact I am coming back after school has started in some instances, making it a bit hard to get an open position.

I’m just so stressed and emotional and I have no idea where to start.  I start packing and then I have to stop b/c I get too upset.  Same in looking for jobs- even if I found one I have no idea how I am actually going to get to one with no transportation (again no one’s fault but mine).

It makes me wonder how people who have nothing make it work, no money or financial support.  How do they get to work?  If I lived somewhere where there was public transport, ok, but then how do I move there without any money to start with?  I could just scream I’m so frustrated over all of this.

Any constructive ideas are welcome.

5 Comments

  1. marykir
    15/08/2011 / 16:50

    Is there a rideshare/carpool program where you will be living? You might be able to at least arrange a ride to a place that has public transit.

    A church/YWCA, etc. shelter program might have some suggestions for how to get housing/transport when you don’t have money for the upfront costs. I don’t know how the housing works, but I know that agencies here provide subsidized tickets for the bus.

    Is there any place you can walk or ride a bike to near where you will be living? Even a crappy temp job is better than nothing if you’re trying to save up to move…

    • 15/08/2011 / 16:56

      My family lives in a residential area and there is no public transport. The nearest mall is too far to walk to especially in bad weather. I’m hoping if it gets to needing a crappy job vs having one in the city I do have someone I can stay with, I would just hate to wear out my welcome. It all depends on what I can find, and it is a bit hard to job search when I can’t even be contacted on the phone right now.

  2. Amy
    15/08/2011 / 16:54

    Do you live super far from the T?

    I have had nothing and it sucks. You do what you have to do is really the only advice. Work two jobs, have a roommate, etc.

    I don’t have a good job nor is it in the field my degrees are in but for now it’s better than nothing.

    I know it’s hard, but a positive attitude is a persons best asset when times are tough.

    I’m always here to talk if you want.

    • 15/08/2011 / 16:57

      My family lives nowhere near the T and it would be the commuter line= more money to get anywhere and I’ve already been told I’m on my own in this. I just wish I hadn’t made so many mistakes in the past b/c they are coming back to bite me.

  3. Autumn
    16/08/2011 / 13:01

    You do what you have to do, curling up somewhere and giving up is not an option- even if that means getting up earlier to walk to work or to the job hunt if you don’t have a car or do not have public transportation available. If the funds become available, you get a bike. As someone else mentioned, if there is any form of ride-sharing or such, look into that.

    You take whatever job you can, even if it is manual labor, factory work or a part time shift at a McDonald’s (done all of those myself, except the McDonald’s- but I did work as a short order cook at a greasy spoon). Keep looking for a teaching position, of course, and see if you could get into a grad program here in the States if you are interested, but the immediate goal is cash in hand to support yourself, you cannot be choosy about the job. A job is a job, especially in today’s economy. Keep researching grants and scholarships, on a public library computer if you have to in your off time.

    Cut out all the absolutely non-essentials. I understand that you want to treat yourself now and then, but what good is a momentary treat going to do if you can’t pay for something you absolutely need later on?

    As for a place to live- you aren’t going to be able to get the great apartment in the great end of town without money, but if you don’t have a place to sleep and get washed up and have a permanent address for potential employers to contact you at, getting a job is going to be difficult. You mentioned a friend that said you could crash with them, do so- but only until you have enough money to get a place- even if it is just a one room efficiency or room in a rooming house. The place may not be the best, but it will be yours, something you are providing for yourself and that will boost your self-esteem and confidence.

    It isn’t easy without a support system, but if you feel that you don’t have one because of burned bridges, the only way to possibly rebuild those bridges is to show them that you are serious about doing everything you have to do to support yourself, no matter what. I am did the same thing- in my early twenties I pushed everyone away and burned bridges with just about everyone in my family, but I changed my horrible attitude and buckled down and did what I had to do to survive and they saw that. With the exception of one or two folks, whom I wouldn’t accept help from if I was living in a cardboard box, all those bridges were repaired. It can be done.

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