For a minute there I lost myself

The main reason I haven’t posted this week, is well I haven’t really had anything to say. I haven’t done anything exciting. I’ve walked, I’ve run, I’ve read, I’ve slept. Pretty boring. I haven’t done any work, which is an issue. Damn, I am lazy and unmotivated.

My fantasy me (the one in my head that is hot and sexy and thin and does things and has really great hair) is so much more interesting than reality me. Reality me thinks about going to book club and has a panic attack over it. Fantasy me thinks about going into schools in the fall and looking all awesome. Reality me looks in the mirror and wants to cry. Fantasy me has blog friends and meets them and goes on runs with them and it is awesome. (I actually dreamt this.) Reality me sees no comments. Fantasy me gets up and goes to the office and does work and comes home and goes for a run. Reality me gets up at 11, watches Dallas on the DVR, has breakfast and coffee and maybe goes for a run. I mean this 10k isn’t going to run itself. And does no work.

If only I could get my mind to combine the two. That would be good. Scary but good because apparently my ingrained work ethic only works when it actually comes to paid work. I guess I need to get a job or a volunteer position b/c I know I would make myself actually do it as opposed to going to the office which is still just a euphemism for looking at pictures of Benedict Cumberbatch.

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