Frustration

Frustration would be a good way to describe my mood lately. Im frustrated with my weight, the never ending headaches, getting things accomplished, money woes, anxiety, this blog. I could go on, but theres no need to bore you.

Ive been working out for over a month 3-4 times/week. Ive been eating better and tracking. Ive been lifting heavy weights and spinning. Ive been walking. And what do I have to show for it? A sore back. No change in weight, inches, or how my clothes fit. (Of course if I wore anything other than pjs and gym clothes I may have a better idea.) It wasnt this hard the last time around. As soon as I made changes, I saw results. Now, not so much.

The headaches. They are just never ending. Its old news.

Getting things done: (for uni mostly) I suck at time management. End of.

Money: Well thats a given. Ive been doing ok but by the end of term Ive run out of money. I have to hope I find a job or come September I wont have to worry about weight loss. Ill have a good 17 day fast to fix that.

Anxiety. Its been worse lately and the valium just doesnt cut it. Its just not helpful anymore and the GPs here are reluctant to let me have that let alone anything else. I dont know if its b/c I was put on BCPs to fix my cyst issues or I am just having more stress (Id think the extra working out would help) but I just dont know.

This blog. Even though Ive been posting more frequently I dont get traffic/comments like I envision I should. I know I am not the most entertaining person, but it would be nice to know if people in the blogging community were reading I know my friends read and I dont expect them to reply; Im fine with that. I just want to be a cool kid, for once.

Today I wanted to work out but my back had other ideas after weights yesterday. That was fine. I had things to do around here like cleaning and dishes and laundry. Thats all been done.

I think some of all of this unsettled feeling is the weather. What I wouldnt do for a few days of sun. I just need a break from the rain.

For now, I think I will have some Molly cuddle time. 🙂

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