The more things change, the more they stay the same

As part of the August Healthy Living/Fitness Blogger Writing Challenge, this is the fourth post in a month long series of posts.

How have you changed in the past 2 years?

Well, 2 years ago I was in Boston sweating my ass off, doped up on Vicodin, as I recovered from breast reduction surgery.  You should all be very glad that there are no pictures of me at this time 2 years ago.  🙂   So I can definitely say that my tits are smaller now than they were 2 years ago.  🙂

I had surgery on a Monday, was home Tuesday, and back to work on Thursday.  I know that most people take 2+ weeks off after this kind of procedure, but if I didn’t work, I didn’t make any money.  Luckily I was teaching and could do it seated.  My supervisor was great about it, and so were the kids.  I had taught 90% of them before and knew them and they knew me, so it was all good.   I miss teaching.  That’s a big change, 2 years down.

Many things are still the same.  I am still struggling with my weight.  I am still experiencing chronic daily headaches.  I’m still derailed by anxiety on a daily basis.  I’m still rubbish with managing my finances.

Some things are different.  I’m back in Scotland working on my PhD.  At this time last summer I was in a dark place.  I was very depressed about how things had turned out and how upset I was that I had to go back home.

The biggest thing that is different is that I don’t have my mum anymore.  I miss her so much.  That’s the hardest part.

I am still me, but I’m a little more bitter, a little more hardened, a lot more anxious.

I’ve been trying to get healthier (but I could say that I’ve been doing that for years and never quite getting there).  In two years I hope I can look back at this beginning and finally have an ending, where I’m a good 50+ pounds lighter, and a whole lot happier.  I hope I can look back on this in 2 years and see a lot of changes for the better.

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