In today’s health/fitness blogger challenge the challenge of the day is to think of a time when you felt like you were failing. What did you learn from this experience that helped you become a stronger person?
Shit. When don’t I feel like I am failing? I felt like I was failing when I switched careers. I felt like I was failing when I couldn’t “change” the person I was in a relationship with nearly a decade ago. I felt like I was failing when I couldn’t get a permanent teaching job. I felt like I was failing when I couldn’t make ends meet and had to have my mum by my groceries. I felt like I was failing when I was unable to get student loans to continue my education. I feel like I am failing now because I haven’t been able to get any schools to contact me regarding my research.
In hindsight all of the things in the past worked out (mostly). It’s hard to see that in the moment. I am sure what I am currently going through will work out in the end, but it doesn’t mean I am not worried about what could happen. I’m always worried about the what if scenarios. I always come up with what the worst possible thing could be, and ruminate on it like crazy.
Whether I’ve learned from some of these failures, well I guess I have somewhat. I do tend to have a habit of getting myself into the same situations over and over again, and wondering how I’ve got there. I don’t know if it’s conscious or not, or just happenstance or coincidence. I certainly hope that things continue to look up and go my way.
As far as being stronger, I’m not sure. I would suppose that I am, but I don’t really see it. Perhaps because of the continuous cycle of bad choices, I don’t know. Something to think about.