An open letter to the blogging bullies

I’m a small time blogger.  I don’t have a huge following.  Sometimes I get down on myself about it, especially when I see new bloggers getting tons of likes on Facebook (please like me, I only have 12!!!), and seemingly getting on the fast track popular bandwagon with tons of comments per post.  I like to think I’m witty and funny and have something to bring to the table.  Maybe I don’t.  But that’s not what I’m here to talk about.

The blogging world is big enough for my blog, your blog, and any other blog out there, and there is NO reason why anyone should have to stoop to the level of negativity, humiliation, and ridicule that I’ve seen today.  So what if someone moderates their comments?  So what if someone blogs about their life and their own personal trials?  It doesn’t give you the license to write a post and BULLY them online.  (I’m not even going to degrade myself and link to that filth.)

There is no reason to comment on someone else’s body, just because you can hide behind a fake online persona.   There is no reason to make fun of someone because of what they are wearing, or eating, or not eating.  There is no reason to belittle someone for their choices.

I have a real hard time seeing this cyberbullying among my peers.  I had really, really hoped that people would grow up by the time they reached their 20’s and 30’s.  (Clearly many haven’t.)  And while, I have fallen prey to the occasional snarky remark in my life, I would never, ever treat anyone this way, because I know what it is like to be bullied.  I know how harmful it is.  It’s why I changed the direction of my life and am devoting these years to cyberbullying research.

If you wouldn’t say something directly to a blogger in real life, then you shouldn’t say it at all.  Like my mom always used to tell me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”  Sound advice that.

 

14 Comments

  1. Could not agree with this post more! You said it perfectly. There is no reason for a blogger to feel the need to bring someone else down in order to raise themselves up! 🙂

    • 16/02/2013 / 17:24

      Thank you so much! I can’t believe how much hate and vitriol is spread, especially toward whom the post was directed to. It’s wrong and unnecessary. If you don’t like what someone has to say in their blog, you just simply need to not read it.

  2. 16/02/2013 / 15:42

    Wow. I’ve not run into the cyber bullies, yet. I’m also a small blog hoping for more followers, etc. My likes on my Fan page are only 11, so I understand and envy your 12. But I love blogging and I guess the best thing to do to bullying comments is to delete them. If someone does a whole blog that cuts someone down, they must not have anything to say worth saying. Sad. Visiting from Sharefest. Caught your plea for comments. Have a great one. My site is http://www.eaglesclawsanctuary.com Stop by sometime.

    • 16/02/2013 / 17:27

      I haven’t had many issues here or at my previous incarnation of my blog- neophytegirl. I have had people in the past make comments that were rude and uncalled for and that were left anonymously. I wouldn’t have minded the comment had the person been able to use their real name and showed some concern, rather than a rude remark.

      I will definitely check out your site! 🙂

      Thanks for commenting!

      • 16/02/2013 / 17:29

        My biggie is the spam. Last week I had 31 in one day and then 33 the next day.

  3. 16/02/2013 / 16:57

    Couldn’t agree more! I try to tell my teenagers this all the time … “If you wouldn’t say it to their face, and it isn’t kind, don’t say it!” Awesome post. I admire the work you’re doing to help stop cyberbullying.

    Visiting from Sharefest!

    • 16/02/2013 / 23:23

      Thank you so much. I appreciate it. It’s hard work, but I’m ready for the fight!

  4. 16/02/2013 / 17:30

    Wow! I had no idea that people were bullying or being bullied. It’s catty, and well, uncalled for. Glad that you took a stance on the issue. I’m even more happy that you didn’t link to the foolishness. That would have only added fuel to the fire. #sharefest

    • 16/02/2013 / 23:25

      The entire thing makes me sick. It is sad when a group of adults picks on a blogger who has done nothing but work to boost the self-esteem of women of all ages.

  5. 16/02/2013 / 23:49

    I haven’t had any problems with bullies, but I’ve seen it on other blogs. One of the popular blogs I follow now requires you sign into your facebook account in order to leave a comment. He is hoping to weed out the anonymous trolls. I have comment moderation turned on my blog due to all the spam it receives. I imagine if I received an anonymous hateful comment I would delete it. If someone posted a thought-out negative comment using a valid account I’d post it. It could lead to some interesting conversation, but it would have to add value.

    I will also say the bullying comments I’ve read on other blogs haven’t been enjoyable to read. I am all for deleting them and blocking the commenter if possible.

    • 18/02/2013 / 10:52

      I would do the same thing if I had issues with comments, luckily it hasn’t happened to me. I am all for constructive criticism, but there are times when it obviously crosses the line and no one should have to stand for that kind of abuse.

  6. Ali
    16/02/2013 / 23:59

    It’s easy to be nasty and spiteful when you can hide behind a Laptop screen. Place the bully with their victim and they probably won’t be so forthcoming with their comments. Some people use the Internet soley to cause mischief and misery to others. I have no patience for that type of person and will quickly dismiss them, however this could be because I am in my 40’s or am quick with a barbed reply. I know that some people are sensitive and find it hard to ignore nasty comments which then causes stress and lets the bully win.

    I have joined numerous forums on the web and there are always sections that have no intention of joining into discussions unless it is to intimidate others, eventually that person leaves and the bully chalks up a victory. It’s not right and moderators are limited as to what they can do to stop it.

    My experience is to ensure that the places you visit on the web have mods that monitor posts or develop a network of virtual people that you feel will support you on public forums.

    • 18/02/2013 / 10:53

      THIS. So much this. I completely agree. I think that is part of the issue that kids face, is they don’t know how to look out for themselves yet and also are afraid to speak out if something happens. However, if the adults in their lives (or in the world) can’t set a good example, how can they know?

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