Rule fifty-one

I’m not really good at admitting failure, despite having plenty of it throughout my life.  I personally feel it is a sign of weakness, and I don’t like to be thought of or perceived as weak.

I am the supreme commander at coming up with excuses as to why I lost my job/couldn’t find a job/had to file for bankruptcy/gained back all the weight I lost/can’t lose any weight/can’t get focused on my work/am months behind in my work/hate going to my office.  I am not good at accepting the fact that maybe it was more on me than anyone or anything else.

Because . . .


Apologies to those of you who don’t get the reference.

Wow.  I admitted I was/am wrong and the world didn’t end.

I’ve been wrong about SO many things; I couldn’t tell you how many.  What I’m talking about now is what I realised while I was out for my run this afternoon.  I’ve been seriously working out for a year now.  I’ve been running/spinning/lifting/walking.  I should have more progress by now.  I should have lost a whole truckload of weight at this point.  It’s common sense. I should be close to goal right now, not still sitting at less than 20 pounds away from when I started.  Clearly, what I am doing isn’t working.

Eating more isn’t working for me.  I haven’t lost any weight and my measurements have increased.  I don’t feel right and I had to go out to buy clothes I really can’t afford right now because I don’t have anything that fits right.

So either the numbers/measurements/TDEE calculators are wrong, or my body is wrong.  (Granted, it could be my body.  I was the one who was literally eating 890 calories a day and was not losing weight when I was on Optifast and no cheating wasn’t an option as it was costing me like $200 a week and I couldn’t afford to buy a carrot on what I had to my name.) It could be any number of things (PCOS; Lyrica and amitriptaline- both of which cause weight gain; the headaches) or it could be that if I have one extra a week that is undoing everything I’ve done. (I don’t really believe that, but I am running out of things to grasp at.)

While I also believe that you do not need to starve yourself on 1200 calories a day or less to lose weight, I do not think that I am going to lose on 1800-2000 calories a day at this point in time. (Those numbers were based on my TDEE – 20%; if you don’t know what that means, I can explain in an additional post.)  I think I need to go a bit lower and see what happens and I can always increase or decrease after a month of decreasing my calories to 1600-1800/ day.  I’ve also made some other changes, that I will talk about when and if there is a change.

If I’m wrong, I will just say that my life and blog are written by J.K Rowling.  😉

How do you feel about admitting when you are wrong?









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