Lost in my own head

Yesterday was long run day.  Well, what will be long run day once I get a few more weeks into my training plan.  Had it not been so miserable out yesterday, I could have gone on longer, like last Sunday.  (Only without the getting lost bit.)

Yes, I got lost because at 38 I still can't read a map.

Yes, I got lost because at 38 I still can’t read a map.

However, I was running without having had any coffee, and the cold air wasn’t waking me up, and being in my own head space, well just was not good.  I had to stop several times to keep from losing it completely.   I tried to sing along with my running playlist (I think I need some new tunes) but all I could think about was Molly and how much I missed her and how angry I was at myself for not realising something was wrong sooner and not spending more time with her while I could.   Being in the flat right now, it’s so empty.  But being outside the flat doesn’t give me a reprieve from my thoughts either.  This is hard and it sucks.

I did finish my run (in some new kit that I got to try to cheer myself up [the hat I got isn’t on the website- I will have to take a picture when I wear it again]) and even got my first day of yoga in for the #21daysofyogachallenge.  Oh, and as this run was over the 5K distance, I finished the Virtual Runner race for the month.

2014-01-05 15.01.35

I think I’m getting faster? Still so damn slow though. 🙁

This week I have a few runs planned and also my first day of floor barre class.  I also need to get cracking on writing, (I *only* have 8K to write ha ha ha I’m screwed) but all I feel I can do is wallow in sadness.



  1. 10/01/2014 / 21:53

    It’s no consolation, but cats do not show pain or injury until they are really sick, so spotting things earlier is very, very difficult. Hugs, hugs and more hugs
    Abradypus recently posted…A rested developmentMy Profile

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