Last weekend I ran 10 miles in 2 hours.  This weekend I ran a “practice” 10k and was surprised when Runkeeper told me it was my fastest to date.  I’m still slow AF, but that was a 3 minute improvement over last summer.

I’ll be running the Glasgow women’s 10K on Sunday; the race last year I had hoped to PR, but got injured.  Hopefully, there will be a positive outcome to the 10K that will fuel me on as I start to plan out my training for the Royal Parks Half in October.

I just have to trust in the training and all the running I’ve been doing for the past year.

Other than the running, I took a weekend trip to Mallorca two weeks ago and it was amazing.  I got two short runs in while I was there, and they were terribly slow as I took in my surroundings and stopped to take lots of pictures.  I had a great time, got lots of sunshine, and had a massage on the beach!  I would definitely recommend to anyone, and would love to go again!

If you know me in real life (or maybe even virtually) you will know that I’m a pretty anxious person.  I’ve suffered from anxiety for quite a long time, and for a long time I honestly had no idea what it was.  I used to lay awake at night as a child convinced I was going to die in the next few minutes.  I’d wake my mum up just so I didn’t have to be alone.  And at the time, I’d feel rather sick to my stomach, so I was convinced that it was my stomach that was causing the issues, not my mind.  It was never talked about, only those moments in the dark were the evidence anything was wrong.

I didn’t know it was anxiety until I was 18 when I took a psychology class.

It took until I was in my 30s to discuss it with a medical professional while I was trying to sort out my headache issues.  And while I was more or less dismissed by this person in relation to the headaches, I was listened to about the anxiety.  It took until then to bring it up because throughout my late teens and 20s, I was able to control it relatively well.  The “episodes” flared up under times of stress, like exams.  I knew to expect it then, so I was ready for the shaking, the crying, the tremors, the feeling of imminent demise.

Once I completed my first Master’s degree and started working in education, the anxiety flared up.  I could barely drive to work without having an episode.  I was terribly grateful that I was given medication to help deal with the symptoms and I could at least get out the door without hoping that I’d get in an accident so I didn’t have to go to work (it’s a very long story, but things weren’t good for me and it was heartbreaking all around, but I won’t bore you all with that right now).

And now, ten years later? While I still have medication to help me out, I have to ration it.  So I run.  I just lace up my shoes and run.  And while these days, I’m usually running towards a goal (a race or a personal goal), it’s still the enjoyment of the wind in my hair and the sun (hopefully) on my face that can clear my mind.

While I was trying to deal with all of the grief and issues from losing my parents, I ran.

While I was trying to deal with the multiple times I didn’t think I’d get to finish my PhD, I ran.

While I was trying to get the blasted thing finished and hit any number of roadblocks, I ran.

It doesn’t always solve all my problems, and certainly there are some runs where it just doesn’t help.  But it is a bit better than it used to be.  And that’s all I can ask for.

 

 

 

This post was written for #mentalhealthawarenessweek.  All thoughts are my own.

 

April was a pretty good month.  My hip cleared up and I had a total of 102.54 km (64 miles) for the month.

Early in the month, we went to London to see David Tennant in Don Juan in Soho.  He was truly outstanding as always and I am so glad that we got the opportunity to see him in the theatre again.

I was glad that my hip felt improved enough so that I could get my run in in London.

I drank a lot of nitro cold brew, ate too much gelato, and had a great time as always.

The rest of the month consisted of running, Pilates, and the never ending job searching.  I’m all set to graduate next month, and hopefully I’ll be able to celebrate also having found a job!

Hopefully May’s catch up will be more interesting as I’m off to Mallorca this weekend for some R&R (running and rest) so. . .

Welcome to my new URL, Running for Clarity.  I’ve been thinking a lot about blogging and whether or not I wanted to keep on keeping on.  I have a fair amount of free time on my hands while I look for employment. (If you need an educator who knows about cyberbullying, please contact me!)  So I figured, why not?

Why the change?  Well, ‘running is my mind palace’ made sense to me and only me.  So, I figured if I wanted to be taken seriously, perhaps I should actually have a site that was clear and to the point, hence ‘running for clarity.’

Expect lots of running and related content in the very near future!

 

 

I haven’t been able to run since Monday and I’m going crazy.  I’ve managed to pull something in my hip and while it is not as painful as it was earlier this week, it’s still slightly uncomfortable.  I’ve been to the physio and I’ve been doing the exercises and stretches prescribed, and I’ve been icing/heating/TENS machining it since.

It’s terribly frustrating and I find that I’m looking at runners as they pass my flat or while I’m at the gym with envy.  I’ve been able to do alternative exercises such as the elliptical and the spin bike, which is fine and all, but it’s not the same.  I find that I’m more anxious and on edge since then, and it’s a combination of good and frustrating how much I’ve come to rely on running to clear my mind.

Hopefully, I will be back up and running sooner than later, because I’m not sure how long I can go without feeling like I’m back in control of my own body and mind.  Luckily, I’m off to London for a few days on Sunday, so that will surely brighten my mood and hopefully by Monday, I’ll be able to pop out for a short run.