What a week!  This week I submitted my thesis!  Finally!

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Monday: A quick 2 miles.  I had already sent my thesis off for printing and this was a quick shakeout run.

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Tuesday: Double Pilates (trigger point and mat).  It was Gail’s last week 🙁 so I booked in for both classes.  It was just what I needed as I was feeling very tight.

Wednesday: 7 miles. This was originally scheduled for Thursday, but it was supposed to pour.  It wasn’t raining, so I went out and got my miles in. It was a bit later than I normally go out, but it was a nice run all the same.

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Thursday:  Today was submission day! Other than walking around, it was a much needed rest day.

Friday: Unscheduled rest day.  It was pouring out and gross so I cleaned the kitchen.

Saturday: 9 miles. It was a really nice day out and I actually enjoyed this run a lot.  I felt good for most of it, although I was very slow.  I look forward to more runs like this (hopefully faster) and hope to see the leaves start to change as I run through Glasgow Green.

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Overall, this week was a really great week.  Not much longer until the half and then my birthday week celebration in London!

This is going to be a very short post, most likely.  Last week was very thesis heavy as I needed to get it to the printers for Sunday.  I was very glad that the week was light on running as I really didn’t have much time to do much else at all!

Sunday: thesis thesis thesis thesis

Monday: 4 miles. I felt really slow, but Runkeeper told me this was my 3rd fastest 6-8k run, so IDK.

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Tuesday: Double Pilates which was just what I needed and was awesome!  I felt really stretched out afterwards.  However, I did notice that this week we did knee/hip work and that seemed to coincide with my knee playing up again.  Hmmmm.

 

Wednesday: I was supposed to run 4 miles, but I had a supervision meeting and was totally crazed/stressed out and it just didn’t happen.

 

Thursday: 3 miles instead of 4.  My knee had been really bothering me for most of the week, so I took it easy. I think this is the first time I’ve ever selected “bad” for a run on Runkeeper (not shown).  I just felt so off.  I wonder if the stress of the week was impacting me?

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Friday: Thesis thesis thesis thesis

 

Saturday: 4 miles were on the schedule, but I was way too focused on getting the last changes done and beginning the final proofreading.

 

Sunday: 4 miles.  This run was “ok.” I think it has helped that I have been very diligent about my knee rehab exercises again! My right knee was still a bit achy, but not nearly as bad as Thursday.  I made sure that I got the run done before I finished my edits and then sent it off to be printed!

 

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So, like I said, a very light week and I am SO glad that this week was a taper off week.  I think if I had to run any more than 4 miles at any point I would have never managed it.  I spent a lot of the week stressed out, anxious, and sobbing, and while running helps with the stress, running something like 20+ miles last week would have ended me.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately.  Mostly, these thoughts are fleeting worries, like passing ships in the night.  But these thoughts have a theme; transitions.

I’ve gone through several major transitions in life, and I find my thoughts going back to the earliest of transitions for some reason lately.  Perhaps it’s sentiment.  Nostalgia.  I have been listening to a lot of 80’s music.  However, I do feel that it was triggered by the writing of my acknowledgements for my thesis.  I did a lot of thinking about the people in my life and the people who have left a mark on my life at some point. Perhaps they encouraged me.  Or, on a more sinister note, maybe they were a deep rooted and fundamental reason as to why I chose this research topic.

My thoughts find me back to this first transition.  I can feel the crunch of leaves underfoot and there is a scent of Aussie Sprunch spray in the air.  With these reminders, I’m back wandering the halls, head down. It’s like that nightmare that I have when I’ve forgotten my locker combination or my gym clothes. I’ve been out of school for over 20 years and I still have these dreams.  It’s a hard time for me, so alone.  Still, I have the music I enjoy and my treasured favourite old books, and the one person who I could talk to.  This, in turn, drags emotions long repressed and avoided bubbling to the surface and I feel like I’m drowning.  (One would think I’d have moved past this, but I can’t let things go. There was no closure, so. . . ) 

Deep breaths and I’ve moved on to the next transition.  It’s hot and sunny and I’m sitting on the green at Clark University. I tip my head back to look up at the blue sky and I smile broadly.  I’ve done it.  I’m in college on my own.  The absolute joy that I feel at that moment is joined by a twinge of homesickness. I push it off and try to look forward.  I haven’t really met anyone yet, so that excitement is still there.  I have no idea what’s going to happen: those moments before I meet my roommate and my hallmates, long before J. coined the phrase about how I analyse everything like I live in a fishbowl (see my blog tagline), before I met people who changed my life.

I allow myself a few more moments on Clark’s green before I’m in Glasgow, 6 years ago.  It’s sunny and mild and I’m wearing my Ortiz t-shirt (Boston represent!). I have absolutely no idea where I am (grad school has not improved my ability to read a map) and I can’t be bothered to care.  It’s a gorgeous day and the leaves are just starting to change colour and the few that have fallen crunch underfoot. I find myself in Kelvingrove Park and everything seems bright and larger than life.  I treasure this moment, it’s precious. It’s before. . .  .

Now, I’m in the after.  Approaching the end of another chapter of my life and I’m not quite sure how to close the book on it.  There is a lot of anxiety and uncertainty in this transition.  And if there’s one thing I don’t like, it’s not knowing what’s going to happen.  Right now, I feel like I’m about to jump into the void, feet first, and it’s terrifying.

For now, I’m just trying to breathe.

First, as I’m writing this so late, 2016 can burn.

Second, if you’re actually reading this, you might notice that I’ve got a new layout.  I’m still playing with the colours.

This past week was tough work-wise and running wise. I’m tired. I’m glad it’s a low mileage week.

 

Sunday: I miss Pilates.

Monday: 2+ miles on the treadmill for something different.

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Tuesday: Mat Pilates.  SO much stretching.  So lovely.

Wednesday: 6 miles.  I felt like this run was the best one of the week.  It was nice out and I felt good. It was gorgeous, warm and sunny out and when it’s that lovely, it’s hard not to enjoy a run.

 

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Thursday: 2 miles, just a quick shakeout run.  I was unsure how this would go, given I’d run 6 the day before.  I felt ok, though.

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Friday: Rest day!  Much needed!

Saturday: 8 miles.  I felt so, so slow at times on this run.  I mean I know I’m slow, but I just felt like I was running through molasses.  It was a nice enough day, so that made it enjoyable.

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I was glad to be done, and I enjoyed my first PSL of the season afterwards!

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8:45 am: Wake up on my own.  Am suitably impressed.  Get up pee, weigh myself, take meds.

9-10 am: Drink coffee, catch up on social media, email, etc.  I need this time to wake up.  And pet Bailey.  He’s a bit whiny and needs me to pet him every day at this time.  It’s nice.  I don’t mind.

OMG THAT CATCH BY BENINTENDI!

FIRST PLACE BITCHES!

(sorry I get excited about baseball)

10-10:30 am: Finish interneting, get dressed (for Pilates later), brush teeth.  Make sure I have my wallet, keys and iPhone and head to Starbucks.

10:30-11 am: Power walk up Byres Road to Marks and Spencer and Starbucks.  I spend more time waiting for the light to change at the corner of University Ave and Byres Road than I do in M&S.  Grab my cold brew at Starbucks (#coldbrew4life) and walk back home.  It starts to rain lightly.  I like this quiet time on Byres Road; after the morning commute and school rush and before it gets packed at lunch time.  Soon it will be packed non-stop once the university students return.

11-11:15 am: Make toast, feed Bailey, move computer to my desk.  Retrieve my notes from last night.

11:15-11:53 am: Organise thoughts and make notes about what I need to write.  Try to think big picture.  Feel very, very tired.

11:53 am:  Oooh the post has come.  I am disappointed.  It’s only my Graze box.

11:58 am: Bailey has a hyper and runs around the flat.

12-12:30 pm: Write.

12:30 pm: Reply to an email.  Get distracted.

1 pm: An increase of 80 words this hour.  I think.  I didn’t write the number I started at, so it’s a guess and I’m not counting the words I’ve added manually.  Trying to make sense of what I am saying.

1:20 pm: Get distracted by my skin and decide to wash my face.  This is why it has taken me 4 years to get this done! When I sit down to focus, I do anything but!

1:30 pm: Try to make sense of these findings and write them as a conclusion without sounding like a pretentious wanker.

2 pm: Net increase of 255 words this past hour.  Must think and write faster.  Need more caffeine!

Get completely distracted and frustrated over trying to explain what I am saying. Beg Steph for lunch.

2:40 pm: Om nom nom pancakes and bacon.

2:50 pm: Ok, now that I’m fed maybe I can get something accomplished.

3 pm: Let’s do this!

 

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Result: +119 words.

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4 pm: Discuss some findings with Steph to see if I can make better sense of it in my head.

4:45 pm: Enter my food into MFP to find out if I have enough calories for a snack before Pilates. Eat a frozen yogurt bar.

5 pm: + 24 words for the previous hour. FML.

This hour (5-6) left me with – words as I was doing a significant edit of the section and didn’t need to be repetitive since I was able to say what I had said previously, in a clear manner that made sense.  I’m so tense.  I need Pilates class.

And you can see from the above why I feel like I get nothing accomplished! I’m too easily distracted and lose focus quickly.  I hope I can get back on track tomorrow!

6 pm: Walk to Pilates class.  When I got there I found out that my favourite instructor won’t be teaching for the foreseeable future.  I am so bummed out.  🙁

7-8 pm: Pilates class.  All the stretching.  It felt great and I feel so much taller.

8-9 pm: Walk home from class.  Soon it will be too dark to walk home from class.  This makes me sad.  I enjoy the walk there and back (especially when it isn’t raining!)

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9-10 pm: Shower, eat a salad, pet Bailey, create a new running playlist, organise some things. Steph has gone to buy food for dinner.

10-10:30 pm: Eat dinner.  Nom nom nom.

10:30 pm-12 am: Get ready for bed.  Wind down. Contemplate tomorrow which will include a 6 mile run. Good night!

 

 

What really happens now is that I listen to the Red Sox until I fall asleep between 12-1 am and then wonder why I can’t wake up at a reasonable hour!