2016 has been a bit of a shit year, overall.  Yes, there have been some high points, but overall, I feel like this image sums up 2016 in a nutshell.

And this most certainly applies to me.

This year overall, I did a lot of writing and a lot of running and not much else, which is ok as I had to get my thesis finished. Whereas 2015 was filled with terrible personal lows, 2016 was more even-keeled, but challenging as it felt like every week we were saying goodbye to someone who had moved us on the screen, stage, or radio.

January: I attempted another Whole 30 but wasn’t really in the mindset.

February: I did some running and spent time in the library working.

March: I ran the Resolution Run 10K with a PR.

April: I tried out run club, I began to plan my 41st birthday, and got far too overjoyed at a reply on Twitter.

May: More of the above, only trying to look cool doing it.

June: I was on task to massively PR my 10k at the Women’s 10, but ended up injured. ūüôĀ ¬†This necessitated about 2 weeks off of running and then I began to train for my second half.

July:  Running.  Pilates.  Pokemon.  Writing.

August: Running.  Pilates.  Pokemon.  Writing.  Ran the OUT 5 miler (with no injury or issue, a rarity in 2016!)

September: Thesis submission. ¬†Running. Pilates. Start the fundraiser for Mark Gatiss’s 50th birthday.

October: ¬†Run my second half, get injured again. ūüôĀ ¬†BIRTHDAY!!!! The Boys in the Band! Stina and Sara came to visit! So much excitement and awesome in one week! ¬†Raised over ¬£1100 for Switchboard for Mark Gatiss’s 50th birthday!

November: Do a whole lot of nothing. Run the MoRun 5K and PR. Pilates.

December: Get my nails done, drink a lot of Starbucks, PASS MY VIVA!

2016 in a brief nutshell:

Plays seen: 1
Trips to London: 1 ūüėě
Miles/km run: 472/759.6 (So should be 500 miles by the end of the year easy)
Pounds lost: ~30
Viva’s passed: 1

Twas the night before the Viva, when all through the flat,

Not a creature was stirring, not even Bailey the cat.

The chapters were outlined in the thesis with care,

In hopes that the doctorate soon would be theirs.

 

The examiners were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of passing the candidate danced in their heads.

And Bailey on the couch, and I in my bed,

Had just settled down after the thesis had been once again re-read.

 

When out on Twitter there arose such a fuss,

People are still cyberbullying, engaging online with a cuss.

I logged on to my computer, quick as a flash,

Opening the application, not hesitating a dash.

 

The cursor was flashing inside the new message window,

And I certainly was ready to type a message below.

When what to my tired eyes should appear,

Messages of support and love, to some may endear.

 

Understanding exclusion, via Norbert Elias,

In hopes that these marginalising behaviours will soon be behind us.

While the data proclaimed bullying still is an issue,

Teachers need education and training; I tell you this is true.

 

An interesting tidbit; yes here’s a fact.

More young people were traditionally bullied, rather than online without tact.

While this may back up the assertions of Olweus, who may have attempted to detract.

Interviewees illustrated that all forms of bullying had a severe impact.

 

Hopefully the questions will be answered in such a way,

That the examiners will most certainly be swayed.

And hopefully at some point tomorrow,

Cindy will pass with just corrections; otherwise, there will be sorrow.

This is going to be a very short post, most likely. ¬†Last week was very thesis heavy as I needed to get it to the printers for Sunday. ¬†I was very glad that the week was light on running as I really didn’t have much time to do much else at all!

Sunday: thesis thesis thesis thesis

Monday: 4 miles. I felt really slow, but Runkeeper told me this was my 3rd fastest 6-8k run, so IDK.

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Tuesday: Double Pilates which was just what I needed and was awesome!  I felt really stretched out afterwards.  However, I did notice that this week we did knee/hip work and that seemed to coincide with my knee playing up again.  Hmmmm.

 

Wednesday: I was supposed to run 4 miles, but I had a supervision meeting and was totally crazed/stressed out and it just didn’t happen.

 

Thursday: 3 miles instead of 4. ¬†My knee had been really bothering me for most of the week, so I took it easy. I think this is the first time I’ve ever selected “bad” for a run on Runkeeper (not shown). ¬†I just felt so off. ¬†I wonder if the stress of the week was impacting me?

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Friday: Thesis thesis thesis thesis

 

Saturday: 4 miles were on the schedule, but I was way too focused on getting the last changes done and beginning the final proofreading.

 

Sunday: 4 miles. ¬†This run was “ok.” I think it has helped that I have been very diligent about my knee rehab exercises¬†again! My right knee was still a bit achy, but not nearly as bad as Thursday. ¬†I made sure that I got the run done before I finished my edits and then sent it off to be printed!

 

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So, like I said, a very light week and I am SO glad that this week was a taper off week.  I think if I had to run any more than 4 miles at any point I would have never managed it.  I spent a lot of the week stressed out, anxious, and sobbing, and while running helps with the stress, running something like 20+ miles last week would have ended me.

Hello there! ¬†I’ve been absent, I know. ¬†I’ve been terribly busy, but that really is no excuse, as I have time to waste lots of time on the internet doing other things. ¬†Anyways. . . what have I been up to?

1. I took a quick trip to London.

It was just a quick overnight jaunt, but it was incredible. ¬†I went down to see Three Days in the Country (which if you know me, that should be no surprise.) ¬†The play is absolutely amazing; both Mark Gatiss and John Simm were brilliant! ¬†And I had a great seat with a perfect view of Mark’s ¬†. . . .assets. ¬†ūüėČ ¬†I really need to spend a day writing up all my theatre trips this year!

After the play, this happened. ¬†ūüôā

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2. ¬†I’ve been training for a half-marathon!

I’ve been doing a lot of running! ¬†I’ve just started week 8 of my training plan, and I feel pretty good. ¬†Tired, but good. ¬†Also, rungry! ¬†I’m actually pretty impressed with myself as I’ve only missed one training run in the 7 weeks that I’ve been training. ¬†I rolled my ankle on week 6, so I took a day off to make sure I hadn’t mangled it again. ¬†It was a bit tender, but it didn’t swell or bruise. ¬†Ice and resting helped it, and I was fine to continue on.

3. ¬†I’ve been writing. ¬†And writing. ¬†And even more writing.

My thesis has been progressing. ¬†Not with any amazing speed of course, but progressing all the same. ¬†I have my secondary annual review in 10 days, so I’m freaking the fuck out, basically. ¬†I have to get this chapter finished by the 9th and I am feeling a tiny bit hopeful. ¬†If all goes well, I will be able to finish up my PhD. ¬†If not, well, I don’t want to talk about it right now.

4. I went to the Doctor Who series 9 premiere!

With all the running and all the writing I’ve been doing, I haven’t had much time for fun (not since I saw Three Days in the Country). ¬†I’ve been pretty focused on getting my work done, so it was nice to take last Thursday to first get my hair done, and then pop over to Edinburgh for the premiere.

The episode was brilliant, and that’s all I’m allowed to say. ¬†ūüôā

Afterward, there was a Q&A with Steven Moffat and Brian Minchin, which was pretty cool.

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I can’t wait to watch the episode again on September 19th.

Other than that, my life has been rather boring.  I hope to start planning my 40th birthday theatrepalooza very soon (Yay Hamlet!  Yay Three Days in the Country!  Yay high tea on my birthday!), and will share all the plans as soon as they are made.

 

Here’s a random Bailey ūüôā

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Oh and if you’re interested, new hair

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That pretty much sums up my situation right now. ¬† Basically I’ve worked (harder some times than others) on my PhD for the past 3 years and my supervisors are now saying I don’t have a thesis. ¬†They are not saying I’ve made sufficient progress, and therefore I may not be getting my loans in January. (I can’t confirm or deny this as it’s Christmas and I can’t find out until the beginning of the year.) ¬†The university is fine with me taking more time, but without money, there is no time. ¬†No loans = no money= no studies = Cindy is basically fucked. ¬†Not to mention the lack of visa. ¬†ūüôĀ

So right now I am expected to write all of this theory (most of which I don’t understand, which is another issue altogether when you realise you aren’t as smart as you thought you were; that or the Topomax REALLY fucked up my brain) and carry on with everything. ¬†Which is hard to do, as I am losing time I could be using to sell all my belongings for money or looking for jobs (not that anyone will hire me as I don’t have any experience over the past 4¬†years and I don’t have any references from this decade- and I would need pretty much some sort of relocation allowance so hahahahahaha on me)¬†since my future is so up in the air.

I didn’t want to talk about this, as it’s Christmas, and well, I don’t really want people feeling sorry for me. ¬†And. . . . well I feel ashamed. ¬†I’ve wasted 3 years of my life on this, and now I’m going to be 40 and I have nothing to show for it but over $100K worth of student debt, no money, no partner, no job, and no foreseeable future. ¬†The future I had envisioned after the PhD is long gone now, and it’s really hard to think of a job I could possibly get hired at. ¬†But I suppose, at nearly 40, I have to be accountable for my own actions.

In the end. . .

Basically . . .

 

I have a life here (Well sort of. ¬†I am having serious regrets about how I spent and wasted my time here and the lack of connections I made and how I wasted so, so much time.) ¬†I have bills and a flat and Bailey and I don’t want to leave all of that behind, at least quickly. ¬†So, no matter what happens it is my plan to stay here as long as I possibly can (not to mention my 40th birthday plans, please don’t make me give those up please please please). ¬† ¬†Steph deserves that bit of courtesy at least.

So this is how I’m spending Christmas: ¬†trying to write a whole bunch of words in the most intellectual way as possible and applying for as many jobs as I can and hoping no one is looking for references until after the new year, when maybe I can find someone who would be willing to write a letter.